


Beyond Recognition: A Loki and Bruce Romance

by auntieomega



Series: A Marvelish Romance [7]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Anal Fisting, Anal Sex, Avenger Loki, BDSM, Bondage, Brother Feels, Bruce Banner Feels, Cock & Ball Torture, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Gay Rights, Homophobia, Hospitalization, Hospitals, Hurt Loki, Hurt/Comfort, Loki Feels, M/M, Male Slash, Marriage Equality, Miscarriage, Mpreg, Pregnant Loki, Pregnant Sex, Protective Bruce Banner, Rimming, Sad and Sweet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-05
Updated: 2015-05-05
Packaged: 2018-03-29 04:33:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3882466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/auntieomega/pseuds/auntieomega
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Married Avengers Loki and Bruce are expecting their first baby and delighting in every moment of it--and they're as kinky as ever!  But when an Avengers' mission has tragic consequences, Loki and Bruce struggle to overcome it while facing the challenges of being in a state where their marriage isn't legally recognized.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Beyond Recognition: A Loki and Bruce Romance

Bruce sat in the middle of the bed and rubbed cocoa butter on Loki’s taut round belly. The six month old fetus beneath the creamy skin played tag with his hand, bumping up against it as he rubbed. “So, now that we know it’s a girl, we need to settle on a name.”

“What about something Norse?”

“Most of those Norse names sound like someone choking on their own vomit.” He caught Loki staring, aghast and strangely silent. “Except your name,” Bruce amended. “Your name is the most beautiful word I’ve ever heard uttered.”

The placated god sighed. “Daenerys Two.”

“After your pet chicken? Who’s named after a character on a TV show?”

“And a series of books.”

“No. That’s not happening.” He tried to think. “What about Rachel? That’s a nice girl’s name.”

“I hate it. It sounds like a satchel used by a rapist.”

“Do rapists use satchels?”

“If they did, they would be called rachels.” Loki was quiet for a moment, and Bruce let himself enjoy gliding his hands over Loki’s beautiful belly. Loki hoisted himself up on his elbows. “What about Seth Green?”

Bruce sighed. “I didn’t like that for a boy, and I certainly don’t like it for a girl…. What about Tree?”

“So, we’re going to pick random nouns?” Loki pointed to the bookshelf and snapped his fingers. “Dictionary.”

“I’m neither your servant nor your dog,” said Bruce.

Loki pointed to the bookshelf and snapped his fingers. “Dictionary. Please.”

“Good enough.” Bruce kissed the apex of Loki’s belly, rimming his mouth with cocoa butter, and fetched the dictionary.

Loki sat up, grabbed it, and began flipping through it. “Façade?”

“No.”

“Nuncio?”

“No. Are you reading the definitions, Loki?”

“Paisley?”

“N-- Wait. Paisley. That’s cute. It sounds normal enough that she should be able to get along with it all right, but different enough to be unique. What do you think?”

“I think I need some of that lotion on my hands.” He put down the dictionary and fluttered his hands at Bruce. Bruce gave him a squirt and looked at him expectantly. “I’m partial to words that end with a long ‘e’ sound. I like it.”

“We should celebrate,” said Bruce.

Loki frowned. “We still need a middle name. I want to name her American style with three names.”

“Let’s celebrate settling on her first name. Oh, and by celebrate, I mean fuck.”

“Why didn’t you say so before? I was afraid we were having more fucking apple juice and Sprite.” He leaned over and tossed a spreader bar with handcuffs attached onto the bed. “It feels like a bondage night.”

Bruce grinned as he cuffed Loki’s wrists. “What else does it feel like?”

“That’s up to you. Surprise me.”

He laid Loki on the bed with his arms over his head and his stomach pointing in the air. He rubbed and kissed Loki’s belly, teasing his navel with the tip of his tongue. He kissed up Loki’s chest and sucked his nipples until they puckered and pinked. While he nibbled Loki’s throat, his hand rubbed beneath Loki’s bellybutton. He massaged up and down and back and forth, and it wasn’t long before Loki’s cock joined the party. Somehow, Loki’s cock could be as imperious as he was, pulsing and demanding to be touched.

Bruce left Loki’s neck to grab a mouthful of cock. He sucked it for a second, then stopped to nibble down the shaft. He repeated this a few more times. Loki’s cock bounced like a rubber ball and his hips wagged in frustration. “Fucking Bruce. Suck me.”

“Oh,” said Bruce. “I just decided what we’re doing tonight.” He left a rather miserable Loki to retrieve a few items from a drawer. His surprises clanked on the bed. He clamped a chastity device around Loki’s cock to prevent him from cumming and buckled a stretcher around his balls. He teased Loki’s locked up cock mercilessly, playing with the free head and urging him to cum. Loki trembled and bucked, but he didn’t complain anymore. After a while, Bruce massaged Loki from groin to navel. “Poor Loki,” he said gently. “Poor, sweet Loki.” He helped Loki, wrists still attached to the spreader bar, get down on all fours. Loki moaned as the weights Bruce had hung from the ball spreader swung between his thighs. “Poor Loki,” Bruce cooed. He kissed the beautiful hole, then lubed it up. He reached down to fondle Loki’s caged cock while he stretched Loki’s hole with his fingers. Then he lubed up his own cock and fucked Loki slowly and gently, making deep, purposeful thrusts that swung Loki’s weights like the pendulum of a grandfather clock. He came with a sigh. After pausing to kiss Loki’s ass, he lubed up his hand and began stretching Loki’s hole again. “Poor Loki. He needs a fisting."

He inserted his hand sideways, working Loki’s cock with his other hand. Once he had his entire hand inside Loki’s hot rectum, he slowly pulled it into a fist. He drew almost out, then sank into Loki’s lush depths. Loki gave a small cry. Bruce punched softly, his hand and arm squeezed by Loki’s muscles. Loki began to rock back and forth, moaning. Bruce freed him of the ball stretcher and the cock cage. He still didn’t draw all of the way out, but he punched Loki’s ass a little harder and a little faster. Loki shivered and came with a loud cry. He flipped on his back as Bruce pulled out of him and was still spraying cum.

Bruce freed him of his cuffs, kissed his cheek, then cleaned up and put away the toys. When he was done, he flopped down next to Loki, who still lay naked atop the bedspread, staring at the ceiling. Loki caught his hand and kissed it. “I can’t tell you how much I needed that.”

Nothing could have pleased Bruce more. “I know you always enjoy a bit of punishment, but I think I’m starting to learn your ‘poor Loki needs a fisting’ face.”

“I like it when you say ‘poor Loki’,” said Loki, crawling under the sheets.

“I know.” Bruce slid into bed beside him. “That’s why I say it.”

“Why do you think I like that?”

Bruce laughed. “You're not concerned with why you like bondage or fisting. You’re worried about why you like having something said to you?”

Loki turned over to frown at him. “Bondage and fisting are physical things. This is something else.”

“I suppose,” Bruce said thoughtfully, “there must have been some time in your life when you were in great need of sympathy and didn’t get any.” Loki rolled over without saying anything. Bruce kissed his neck and shoulders and kneaded his lower back. “Poor Loki. Sweet Loki,” he whispered. He grazed the round belly with his fingernails. “Poor, sweet, wonderful Loki.” Something butted up beneath his hand. He pressed against it lightly. “Hello, Paisley.”

“She knows your voice,” said Loki. “She follows you around. I think she already loves you.” Bruce beamed until Loki asked, “Do you think she’ll love me?”

“How could she fail to love you? You’re going to be an excellent father, and she’s going to be really smart. She’ll love you tons.” He alternated stroking Loki’s side and back. “Poor Loki,” he sighed into Loki’s hair. “Of course she’ll love you.”

Loki was quiet for a while and Bruce thought he had fallen asleep, but then he said, in a voice tinged with anxiety, “Paisley will grow up knowing we love her?”

“She’ll grow up loved and safe and happy. She’s going to be smart and kind and brave. She’ll love and respect the Earth and all of the creatures in it. She’ll be open-minded and open-hearted, and she’ll always know how much we love her.”

“I don’t know if I know how to do that,” Loki said in a small voice.

Bruce snuggled closer to him. “You know how to love. And you know how important it is to be nurtured and guided. You know so much more than you think you do.” He rubbed Loki’s belly, Paisley following his hand. “What about Rainbow for a middle name?”

Loki looked over his shoulder. “Like the bridge?”

“I was thinking of the weather phenomenon, but, sure, the bridge will work.”

“Paisley Rainbow Banner.” Loki rolled to face him with excitement. “Rainbow like the flag!”

Bruce’s enthusiasm dampened. “I hate it when parents give their kids funny names.” He could feel Loki working up an argument. Rainbow was the first name Loki had been excited about in a while, and it was better than Seth Green or Daenerys Two. “But maybe it’s okay since it’s her middle name.”

“Then it’s decided,” said Loki, entwining his fingers with Bruce’s and laying their hands on what Loki probably thought was the baby’s head but Bruce thought was probably her butt. “This is Paisley Rainbow Banner, and she is loved.”

***

Loki sighed at the ugly hotel room. “You’re all making too much of this, Dr. Banner,” he said as Bruce, kneeling, pushed up his tunic to examine his belly. “I get thrown into the sides of buildings all the time.”

Bruce remained focused on the exam. “Not when you’re six months pregnant. And it’s ex-Dr. Banner. I’m not licensed anymore.”

“I’m fine. My shoulder took the brunt of it. You should be checking my shoulder if you have to check something.” He heaved a sigh. “We saved Houston from a giant robotic time-traveling squidbeetle. Yay us. Now let’s go home.”

“We’re leaving tomorrow. We have to make a few repairs.” He gave Loki’s belly a quick kiss.

“I knew someday you would kneel before me and worship at my feet.” He caught his stomach with a grimace.

“Are you all right?”

“I’m fine. She’s kicking very hard tonight, that’s all. I think she has hooves.”

Bruce rose slowly. “Is that a possibility?” He knew in Asgard Loki had given birth to an eight-legged horse, a wolf, and some trolls.

Loki fixed him with a ‘stupid human’ stare. “No, I don’t think so. I said it in jest.” He sighed. “This humidity is killing me. Everything feels sticky. I need to get these clothes off.”

As Bruce began to help Loki strip, he asked, “Can you leave the helm on?”

A smile crept over Loki’s face. “And why should I do that?”

“So I can worship my Norse god in all his horned glory.”

He purred as Bruce kissed off the rest of his clothing. “You’re so good to me,” he whispered. “Why are you so good to me?”

Bruce caressed the inside of Loki’s mouth with his tongue. “Because you deserve it,” he breathed into Loki’s ear. “And because I love you—every inch of you. Every crevice. Every shadow.”

With a sharp intake of breath, Loki caught Bruce’s head between his hands. He stared into Bruce’s eyes with a somber intensity. “Every time I look at you I feel on the verge of breaking. If I loved you any more I would shatter into a million pieces and be torn away by the wind.” He wrapped his fingers around Bruce’s hair and tugged him into a rough embrace. “You have no idea how much I need you.”

Actually, Bruce had some idea, but he traced Loki’s cheekbone and said, “As much as I need you? Because I need you like I need oxygen. Or sunlight.” He sparred and parried Loki’s nose with his own. “Or Indian food.” Their foreheads almost touching, Loki laughed. Bruce gave him a quick peck on the lips, then dropped to his knees, kissing Loki’s belly on his way down. He pushed his tongue into Loki’s navel and grabbed two handfuls of ass. After a few minutes, he laid his head against Loki’s belly with a sigh. “I don’t know why, but whenever I look at your belly, I get butterflies in mine.”

Loki played with Bruce’s hair, pulling up tufts of it and fluffing them absently. “I get butterflies when I catch you staring at me when we’re out somewhere. It’s distracting because all I can think about is fucking your face.” He gave a soft yip as Bruce’s wet finger invaded his hole, followed by a groan as Bruce found his prostate. Another groan followed as Bruce’s mouth enfolded his cock.

Bruce had to pause as Loki’s knees began to buckle. “Hold my shoulders, baby.”

“Feels so good,” Loki mumbled, drunk with pleasure, but he did grab Bruce’s shoulders.

Bruce sucked up Loki’s cum, then rolled his trickster onto the bed. Loki sprawled on his side, still wearing his helm. Bruce grinned at the languorous way he stretched. His Loki was such a sex kitten. Loki looked up suddenly. “What about you?”

“I’m fine. You look tired.” He smiled at his beautiful horned god. “Besides, I just like making you feel good.” He stretched himself. “Why don’t we wash up and grab something to eat. I think I saw an Indian place nearby. You might want to lose the helm, though.”

After eating they shirked off their clothes and climbed into bed. As they spooned, Loki sighed, “I think I could have done without the naan. I’m so full.”

Bruce rubbed Loki’s stomach. “Poor Loki.”

“Sweet Bruce.” After a few minutes, his breathing became so even that Bruce thought he was asleep. And then he said, “Tell me about Paisley again.”

“She’s going to be kind and smart and good. And we’ll love her. And she’ll love us."

“Will she be mischievous?”

Bruce laughed into Loki’s hair. “Probably. She’ll be mischievous and cunning as a cat. She’ll keep us on our toes.”

“What about magic?”

“If she has any ability, you will have to teach her how to use it. You can teach her magic, and I’ll teach her science.”

“Pepper can teach her shopping.”

Bruce laughed. “Yeah, and if she wants to learn how to shoot with a bow, I guess Clint can teach her that.” He nuzzled against the back of Loki’s head. “She’ll have us; she’ll have our family and friends. She’s going to be a lucky little girl with a full and beautiful life.”

Loki yawned. “And she’ll always know she’s loved.”

Bruce felt a pang of sympathy, knowing what that meant to Loki. He pressed a little closer. “I know you didn’t always feel loved, but you know you are now, right?” A few stray tears fell from his eyes, and in his arms, Loki snored softly.

***

Bruce woke to find gray dawn light peeking through the ugly hotel curtains. The sound of water running drew him to the bathroom. He edged the door open to enjoy watching his husband bathe. What he saw, however, made him cringe. Loki’s shoulder and side were mottled by black bruise. “Loki, what the fuck?”

Loki glared at him and turned off the water. “What?”

Bruce sat next to the tub and carefully stroked the darkened shoulder. “You said you weren’t injured that badly.”

“I wasn’t. Had I been human, that probably would have killed me. But I’m only bruised. I heal quickly. It’s nothing.” He turned slightly to show his belly. “And Paisley’s fine. I didn’t let her get hurt. I used my shoulder.”

Sighing, Bruce dropped to his butt and leaned against the tub. “Sucks that tub isn’t bigger.”

Loki recoiled and shuddered. Bruce sat up. “What was that?”

“It’s one of those fake things. Those—what did you call them? Braxton Hicks.” He drew a deep breath. “They’re bothering me this morning. The bath is helping.”

“Poor Loki,” Bruce soothed. He rubbed Loki’s wet belly gently. Loki sighed and leaned into his touch. Bruce basked in the moment. The steam, the smell of soap, the soft lap of the water, Loki’s warm skin beneath his hand. But something began to bother him. A small ripple of fear danced through him as he realized what it was. Paisley usually greeted his hand. “Has Paisley been kicking much this morning?”

Loki’s eyes squeezed shut in pain as his belly tensed under Bruce’s palm. “Thankfully, no. I’m not sure I could take her acrobatics along with these Braxton Hicks contractions right now.”

Bruce tried to keep his voice even. “How long has she been quiet?”

“I don’t know. Since I woke up?”

“How long ago was that?”

Loki frowned. “A few hours ago, perhaps.” He shivered and doubled over. “These aren’t real contractions,” he said through gritted teeth. “They can’t be. My stoma won’t develop until the end of the seventh month.”

“Baby.” Bruce struggled to keep the fear out of his voice. “We need to go to a hospital.”

Loki turned to him with fear-widened eyes. “I don’t know if I can walk,” he said, the admission seeming as painful as the contractions.

“Stay there. I’m going to get Thor to help us.” Loki’s curses echoed in his ears as he ran to the room across the hall.

***

Bruce rubbed the small of Loki’s back. Loki faced away from him. They were surrounded by curtains and beige brick. A very somber Thor paced around the ER cube, and Loki gave a soft growl every time his brother lumbered into view.

Thor stopped in front of Loki suddenly. “I should have gotten to you faster.”

Loki stiffened. “Yes,” he said nastily. “You should have. You’ve never cared enough about me. You’ve never taken my side when it mattered, and you’ve never been there when it counted.”

“He’s hurt and scared,” Bruce told Thor. “He isn’t himself.”

“Really? It sounds just like him.”

Loki curled up in pain. Bruce stroked the back of Loki’s head. “Stop fucking touching me!” Loki roared. “Foul betrayer! I don’t need you to make excuses for me.” A deep shudder ran through his body. “You always take his side. You fucking Avengers always stick together.”

“You’re one of us now,” Bruce reminded him quietly, leaning close to his ear.

Loki pushed him away. “But you originals—it’s different.”

“Even if that were true—and it’s not, I love you more than any being on this planet.”

“I’m so sick of all of your nice guy driveling bullshit. And don’t fucking touch me!”

A woman rolled in a wheelchair. She squinted at Loki and checked his plastic bracelet against her paperwork. “You’re Loki no last name?”

Loki glared at her. “Yes. And you’re Nurse Yokel Never Seen a Pregnant Man Before?”

The nurse regarded him placidly and began hoisting him off the gurney. “You’re getting an ultrasound."

Bruce joined them as they wheeled away. “I’m sorry,” the nurse told him as they reached the double doors. “This is as far as you can go.”

Loki stretched out to grab Bruce’s hand. “He’s my husband. He’s coming with me. He’s been to all the ultrasounds.”

“Men don’t have husbands here, sweetie. Whatever he is, he’s not coming with you.”

“I am a Norse god, woman!” cried Loki. “Do not presume to tell me what to do!”

Bruce cringed. “Loki, don’t do that. Not here.” He looked into the woman’s eyes. “Please, he’s delirious with pain. Can’t we forget the policy just this once?”

“Sir, it’s hospital policy. You’re not a family member; you have to stay here.”

“Bruce!” Loki twisted in the wheelchair to catch a final glimpse of him. Bruce had never seen him so afraid, fear naked on his face. “I’m sorry!” he called as he disappeared through the doors. “Please don’t be angry with me!”

Bruce pushed through the swinging doors and yelled after him, “I’m not angry with you, Loki! This isn’t what I look like when I’m angry!”

***

After what seemed like a long time, a much more subdued Loki was rolled back into the ER room and poured onto the gurney. Bruce leaned over him and smoothed his black hair back. “Did they give you something?”

“A sedative,” said Loki in a small voice. “And something for pain.”

“Do you remember what they gave you?”

Loki sighed. “Injections. I don’t know.” He took Bruce’s hand, kissed the palm, and buried his face in it. His breath blew moist and hot against Bruce’s wrist. He drew his legs up suddenly and trembled, apparently still suffering despite the pain killer. Bruce’s heart ached for him, but he didn’t want to upset him by touching him. He opted to let Loki control the touching.

When the spasm ceased, Loki slid Bruce’s hand down his face and curled it around his own hand. “She died,” he said very softly. “There was no heartbeat. No movement. Everything was so still.”

Bruce couldn’t grieve yet. A ripple of anger swelled through his calm. He hated that Loki had heard this news alone. He should have been at his husband’s side. As he struggled to master his rage, Thor wandered to the other side of Loki’s gurney. Bruce couldn’t think of a worse time for Thor to mess with Loki.

With surprising gentleness, Thor patted his brother’s shoulder. “I love you,” he said, choking up a little.

Tears filled Loki’s eyes, but they stayed there as if somehow incapable of being shed. Otherwise his face was still and expressionless. He turned his head to look up at Thor. “I know. And I don’t hate you,” he said with such tenderness that the content could have been something else.

Thor began to sob, the big man’s sorrow at odds with Loki’s distant resignation and Bruce’s angry shock.

A nurse came in and put an IV in Loki’s arm. He was followed by a doctor who explained they were getting Loki ready for surgery. Loki’s spasms were caused by his body trying to rid itself of the terminated fetus, but since he had no stoma yet, there was nowhere for it to go. Therefore, they would have to remove the fetus surgically.

Bruce tried to listen to everything, tried to lose himself in facts and medicine, but he couldn’t help glancing at Loki, who seemed utterly lost. Loki’s emotive blue-green eyes stared at the doctor with an unusual vacancy. He blinked slowly, his face devoid of expression, as if listening to mundane stories which had nothing to do with him.

“We’ll get through this,” Bruce promised as they took Loki away for surgery. Loki nodded and was gone. Bruce could never remember Loki having been so quiet.

“You know he isn’t really a god, right?”

He found Thor suddenly beside him. “What do you mean? He says it all the time.”

“We’re like gods to your people, but we’re not truly immortal. We can be killed.”

“Loki uses magic to heal himself. He’s very good at it.”

“He can’t if he’s in enough pain.”

Bruce considered him for a moment, not sure what to say. He knew this about Loki, but he wondered how Thor did. He also didn’t want to guess Thor’s motives for beginning this conversation. He turned away. “We need to go to the waiting room.”

***

Bruce had remained calm when the operation took an hour longer than expected. He had not gotten angry when the surgeon directed his comments to Thor. But the nurse preventing him from seeing Loki in Recovery was trying his patience. Thor had gone ahead, leaving Bruce feeling sick at the thought that the first familiar face his Loki would see upon waking would be Thor’s. He sat in the waiting room and closed his eyes, trying to meditate, trying to keep his anger in check.

“Are you okay?” Tony whispered.

Opening his eyes, Bruce smiled at Tony’s grave face. “What are you doing here?”

Tony kept whispering, as if they were in a library or a church. “Thor called us. He told us--- Fuck, man. I’m really sorry.” He sat next to Bruce and patted his back. “Loki’s okay, though, right?”

“Loki’s okay. He made it through surgery. He’s stable. He’s in Recovery now, but they won’t let me see him.” He felt a green surge on the last sentence and drew a long, deep breath. Now, he was surrounded by Natasha, Clint, and Steve.

“Let me go talk to the nurses,” said Steve.

Bruce began talking to Tony, but could only stare at the floor. “The surgery was more complicated than a typical c-section because Loki doesn’t have a female uterus. He has some entirely different sort of organ, so they had to open him up completely.”

Natasha grabbed him by the arm. “Hurry. Let’s go.”

“What are we doing?” He stood because Natasha was pulling him.

“It’s Operation Go See Loki,” said Clint.

“Come on,” said Natasha, frowning at him. “We have to go while Steve’s distracting the nurses.”

Bruce and Natasha slipped past the nurses’ station. Once they got to the Recovery room, they easily found where Loki was being kept because they could see Thor above the curtains. “Go see Loki,” said Natasha. “I’ll stand guard and create a distraction if we need one.”

Bruce thanked her and entered the curtained cube. His heart dropped for a second. He had never seen Loki look so small, vulnerable, and sad. He flew to him and hugged him carefully. “Bruce,” Loki said in a thin voice. “You’re finally here.”

“Everyone is here,” said Bruce. “They just can’t all come in.”

Loki patted the mattress weakly. “Come get in bed with me.”

“I’d love to, but I can’t do that right now. You aren’t even in a room yet. This is just Recovery, where you wake up from surgery.”

“He’s really drunk,” said Thor. “He’s been saying all kinds of strange things.”

Bruce tried not to laugh at Thor. “He’s groggy. He was given strong medicine to keep him asleep for the surgery. I’m sure he wishes he were drunk; that would be more fun.” He smoothed Loki’s hair behind his ear and nuzzled close to him. “It’s going to be okay, baby. I promise. It’s going to be okay.”

“He’s really quiet,” said Thor.

“He’s had a hard day,” Bruce told him. He continued stroking Loki’s hair while Loki acted as if no one was there, staring blankly ahead of him with unfocused eyes.

A nurse entered, Natasha on her heels. “This one seems okay,” said Natasha. She paused, struck. “Oh, Loki,” she breathed and was beside the bed in an instant. She petted one of his blanketed feet. “It’s going to be okay.”

“Yes,” said Loki without looking at her. “People keep telling me that.”

Bruce thanked Natasha and walked her to the hallway. The nurse, who had been checking Loki’s chart and IV, turned to Bruce. “You’re the other father, aren’t you?”

Bruce stiffened. “Yes. Please don’t ask me to leave.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it. He needs you right now.” She smiled sadly. “Would you like to see the baby? Sometimes it helps people get closure.”

Bruce was about to say ‘no’, when Loki, suddenly wide awake, cried an enthusiastic ‘yes.’ The nurse nodded and returned in a few moments with a bundle of towels. “I should warn you, she’s a little unique, but nothing bad.” She gave the bundle to Loki, who stared down at it with wide eyes. “I’ll leave you alone for a while,” said the nurse and left.

“Bruce,” said Loki with a twinge of alarm in his voice. “Come look.”

Reluctantly, Bruce peered over the bed. A small baby, smaller than one of his hands, lay on a towel. Her feet were smaller than one of Bruce’s thumbtips. She was slightly wrinkled and mint green.

Loki looked up at him. “She’s green.”

“I didn’t think the Hulk could be passed on like this, but---”

“She has your hair,” said Loki. “But the bone structure of her face doesn’t look Hulk-like.”

Bruce smiled bitterly. “No, baby. She has your delicate features. She’s beautiful.”

“And your hands,” said Loki, lifting one to show Bruce. “They’re miniature replicas of your hands.”

Thor loomed over them. “What a pretty little thing. I’ve never seen such a beautiful baby.”

“We had an ultrasound recently, and she wasn’t green then,” said Bruce, puzzled. He realized suddenly what might have happened. “Maybe she changed into a Hulk state, and your body no longer recognized her. Maybe that’s what happened.”

Thor cocked his head to the side. “Are you saying she got angry? In the womb?”

Bruce shrugged. “Or maybe really scared.”

“Like by the impact of hitting a building?” Loki asked in a brittle voice.

“Yeah, maybe---” He stopped as soon as he saw Loki’s face. “Or she could have just turned randomly. Or it wasn’t the turning at all. Lots of people have miscarriages. Sometimes things just happen.”

“I-I’m going to be sick,” said Loki and passed the body off to Bruce, who quickly gave it to Thor in order to help Loki. Loki heaved the meager contents of his stomach into the plastic container Bruce held for him. He continued to retch until nothing came out, each spasm reeking havoc on his sore body. By the time he finally stopped, his face was gray with pain.

As he gathered up some napkins to wipe Loki’s mouth, Bruce caught sight of Thor. Thor was cradling the tiny body in one arm and staring down at it as if it were alive. The image took his breath like a body blow. He held himself up on the bed, fists pressed into the mattress. He glanced at Loki and found his gaze fixed on Thor.

“What are you going to do with her?” Thor asked without taking his eyes off the body.

Bruce took a deep breath. “Maybe we could donate her body to science?”

“We will have her cremated and—maybe—keep her ashes—or maybe scatter them somewhere,” said Loki.

Thor looked at Loki. “She’s my niece.”

“Oh,” said Loki with utter contempt, “you’ve finally worked that out, have you?”

“I could take her to Asgard.”

Loki was quiet for a moment. When his reply came, it was small and strangled. “You would do that even though she’s my daughter?”

“I would do that because she’s your daughter,” said Thor evenly.

***

By the time Loki was set up in a room, visiting hours were over. Again, the hospital staff told Bruce he couldn’t stay with his husband. Thor agreed to spend the night with Loki.

“I can’t think of a worse idea,” Bruce told Tony as they stood outside the waiting area near Loki’s room. “Loki and Thor have been getting along better, but that’s compared to trying to kill each other. They’re not close.” He was so raw. He felt like he was going to cry. “And Loki is in such a delicate state. He—he’s so fragile. He needs me. I should be the one staying with him. This is so fucking ridiculous.”

Tony clapped him on the shoulder. “I have to make a few phone calls. Don’t do anything growly and green while I’m gone, okay? When I get back, we’ll figure something out. Try to do your Zen thing. A hospital is no place for the Hulk.”

Bruce watched him stride to the quieter end of the waiting area. Within seconds, Tony was totally absorbed in his phone. Bruce sat down near Steve, who was thumbing through a magazine. Natasha and Clint had disappeared to the gift shop.

“It’s amazing what passes for entertainment these days,” said Steve without looking up.

“I can’t do this,” said Bruce. “I can’t just sit here and pretend everything’s okay.” He had to confront the nurses again.

The head nurse, a curvy woman with dark hair wearing a large cross, was more of a bitch than the others. Bruce stood in front of her. “I forgot to mention, I’m his other brother.”

She smiled. “That’s very funny, but we all know who you are. And what you are. Your boyfriend is so loud and obnoxious; I imagine the whole hospital knows.”

“He’s in the midst of a very traumatic event, and he’s not my boyfriend. He’s my husband.”

“Not in Texas, sweetheart. I don’t give a damn what you freaks want to do out in New York City, but in Texas, marriage is still between a man and a woman.”

“So you don’t think it’s strange at all that something could be perfectly legal in one state and not in another?”

“No, because some states believe in the sanctity of marriage and some don’t.”

“I believe in the sanctity of my marriage.”

She grinned hugely. “Well, isn’t that the dog wearing a dress. How cute. Look, I need to get back to my work. I don’t have time to mess around with your kind all day.”

He was beginning to tremble when someone who had been standing behind him brushed up beside him. “Madam,” said Steve gently, “you do know that you’re wearing around your neck a symbol of compassion and mercy, don’t you?” 

She ignored Steve, directing her answer to Bruce with a big phony smile that wasn’t far from a sneer. “The book I read didn’t say anything about compassion and mercy for sodomites and false gods.”

A cold wave of fury washed through Bruce’s bones. His breath tightened in his chest and the urge to rip the vile woman in two slithered out of his reptile brain and cloaked his vision in green. Distantly, he could hear Steve saying his name and “Not here. Not now.”

And then Tony was beside him patting his back. “Down, big guy. Loki needs Bruce, not Hulk.”

That thought brought Bruce back. As he took a deep breath, he wondered if the head nurse knew how close she had come to being smashed. Suddenly, he realized Tony was telling the head nurse to take Bruce to Loki’s room. He wondered if Tony didn’t realize they had already tried that. “And get him sheets and a cot,” said Tony affably. “He’s spending the night.”

“And just who do you think you are?” she asked.

Tony returned her patronizing smile. “I’m this hospital’s new owner.” He threw an arm around Bruce. “And this is my friend. And he’s going to stay in his husband’s room tonight and however many nights Loki is here.”

***

Bruce hugged Loki as best as he could, minding the surgical site and the IV. Loki grasped the front of his shirt and hissed in his ear, “B-r-u-c-e! Don’t leave me again! Thor was about to start singing.”

Bruce thanked Thor for all of his help and assured him that they would be fine if he went back to the hotel and got some rest. When he was gone, Bruce settled in, unfolding the cot and setting it up, checking the room for ice and water, and reading Loki’s chart.

Loki dry heaved again, and Bruce got him to suck on some ice. After two more times, he called the nurse. Forty minutes later, she responded. Calmly, Bruce explained what was happening. She returned about a half hour later with some Sprite.

“I think we’re past the point of ice chips and Sprite,” Bruce told her, straining to be polite. “He seems to be sensitive to morphine. He needs an anti-emetic and to be taken off morphine and given something like hydromorphone or oxycodone.”

The nurse stared at him for a long moment, her eyes dull and weary. “I’ll have to call his doctor.”

“Great.” He hurried with the emetic basin as Loki began trying to vomit again. He spewed up a sad amount of water from the ice. “We passed up bile a long time ago,” he told the nurse as she inspected the basin.

She waved the can of soda at Bruce. “You need to get this down him so he’s not dry.”

“I will. And you’ll call his doctor?”

She nodded and was gone.

An hour passed. Bruce began to lose track of how many times Loki had been sick and tried to write them down. “I think I’ve torn something,” Loki told him after an especially violent episode.

Bruce pulled away the ice pack and removed the bandages to check Loki’s incision. Loki craned his neck to look at it also. “Fuck,” said Loki weakly. “No wonder I feel like shit.”

“It actually looks pretty good. It doesn’t look like you’ve ripped anything. The yellow is from the antiseptic. And the staples are a better choice for this kind of procedure than sutures.” He resealed the bandages and covered Loki up. Loki had started shivering again.

And then he vomited. When he finished he lay back, pale and glassy-eyed. “I’m so tired,” he whispered. “I don’t know how much longer I can do this.”

Bruce buzzed the nurse. When twenty minutes passed and she didn’t show, he went looking for her. He found her at the nurses’ station chatting with a colleague and eating cheesy puffs. She soured when she saw him. “You’re supposed to use the buzzer.”

“I did. We’ve been waiting for you. What about the medicine?”

She dusted cheese powder from her hands and stared at her file folders. “I believe we’re still waiting for the doctor’s approval.”

“It’s been over an hour.”

“I’ll get it to you as soon as I can,” she said without looking at him, shuffling her folders suddenly taking priority.

“Oh, and I believe you should be taking vitals more often.”

She glared up at him. “What do you want from me?”

“I want you to do your job,” said Bruce.

With his hands bunched into fists, Bruce returned to Loki. He cleaned his basin and cooled the washcloth on Loki’s forehead. When Bruce replaced the washcloth, Loki pressed the side of his head against Bruce’s hand.

Nearly an hour later, the nurse entered with a suppository. As she approached the bed, Bruce intercepted her. “I’ll do it,” he said.

She balked. It was probably not hospital policy. “Fine with me,” she shrugged and was gone.

Bruce uncovered Loki carefully, trying to keep as much of the blanket on him as possible so he didn’t get chilled. With the pungent odor of antiseptic in his nostrils, he leaned down and tongued Loki’s hole. Loki made a soft, surprised noise. “What are you doing?”

“Trying to make this as pleasant as possible.” He returned to his slow, gentle rimming.

“I hope this isn’t how you used to medicate your patients.”

He laughed and fondled Loki’s balls. “No. Just you. You get special treatment.” He kissed Loki’s twitching cock. He was beginning to get aroused himself. “Loki,” he said softly, voice husky with desire. “I would love to suck you off, but the morphine might prevent you from cumming, and I don’t want to frustrate you. I’m just trying to make you feel a little better. We’ll do more as soon as possible, okay?”

“That’s fine. I’m so nauseated.”

“This should help that.” He swirled his tongue around Loki’s hole and kissed and probed it lovingly. Then he tore open the package, licked his finger, and pushed the suppository into Loki’s rectum, letting Loki’s hole swallow his finger until it was knuckle-deep inside. As he withdrew his finger, he gave Loki’s cock a few tugs.

He washed up, then crawled into bed beside Loki and began stroking his face until his trickster fell asleep. He eased off the bed and lay on the cot, exhausted. As he closed his eyes, the mint green baby floated through his skull. Paisley, who was supposed to live a long life knowing she was loved. Instead, she had never even known her first breath. He pushed the thoughts away and buried his damp cheek into the lumpy hospital pillow. Darkness folded its arms around him.

***

Bruce woke to a guttural sound. He pushed himself up, disoriented. Everything flooded back. He bent over Loki’s bed. Loki was shaking and groaning. “I pushed it,” Loki shivered. “But no one’s come.”

Bruce didn’t need to be a doctor to tell that Loki was in tremendous pain. “I’m going to get help. I’ll be right back.” He kissed Loki’s forehead and bolted out the door. He found Nurse Cheesy Puff parked on her butt at the nurses’ station. He could keep the Hulk under wraps, but he had lost the ability to be nice. He slammed a hand down in front of her. “You cut the morphine, but you didn’t replace it with something else.”

“Isn’t he a god? The god of mishaps or something?”

“Mischief.” He took a deep breath. “He’s had surgery. He’s in pain. He needs pain killers.”

She stared up at him with a face glazed with either apathy or stupidity; he couldn’t discern which.

“Stacy, let me get this,” said a young man walking up to the desk. “Can you take 307?”

“Gladly,” said Nurse Stacy Cheesy Puff, peddling to the other end of the round desk while throwing a mad cow glower at Bruce.

“I’m Binh,” said the other nurse. “I’ll be there in a minute.”

Bruce returned to Loki and held him until Binh came. Binh added the medicine to Loki’s IV, checked Loki’s vitals, checked Loki’s chart. “If you need anything else, just use the buzzer,” he said and started to leave. He stopped suddenly and turned around. “I’m sorry you’ve had such a bad experience here. People who can’t leave their prejudices at the door shouldn’t be doing this job.”

“Thank you,” said Bruce.

“My shift ends in about an hour and a half, but I think your day nurse will be Melinda. She’s great. She’ll take good care of y’all.”

Although he badly wanted sleep, Bruce stayed awake and watched Loki’s limbs relax, watched his eyelids begin to droop. When he was sure Loki was asleep, he fell onto the cot to catch an hour of sleep before dayshift started.

***

Bruce woke as Melinda, a large bubbly woman, introduced herself and wrote her name on a white board beside the bed. She checked Loki’s vitals and then checked on Loki himself. She rubbed his shoulder and said, “How are we doing this morning, Mr. Loki? I heard you had a rough night last night. You feeling better?”

“I’m better,” said Loki. “But it’s just Loki.”

Melinda’s brow furrowed. “Loki. All alone. I see. Like Madonna or Cher. Isn’t that cute? Are you a singer?”

“No, I’m a Nor---”

“He’s a magician,” Bruce said quickly.

Melinda nodded as she fluffed and arranged Loki’s pillows. “There. That’s better, isn’t it?” she asked Loki. “I knew when I saw him he had to be doing something in the entertainment industry. He’s just so handsome.”

Loki smiled appreciatively and sighed when she left. “Finally. One of them with some sense.”

Bruce kissed Loki’s hand. “I need to get some coffee. Do you want anything?”

Loki thought for a moment. “Pudding.”

“I’ll see what I can do.”

Dawn, gray and still, lit the windows Bruce passed on his way to the cafeteria, which he was pleased to find open. As he made it back to the room, the same windows he had passed earlier were beginning to blush with light. It was a new day, but he couldn’t help remembering the previous one.

“What’s this?” Loki scowled at the little bowl of pudding.

“It’s pudding. It’s butterscotch.”

“It’s the color of Thor’s hair, and it smells like rotting twat.”

“What kind of pudding would you like, Loki?”

“Chocolate.”

At least Loki seemed grateful once Bruce had completed his pudding mission. “I like chocolate because it reminds me of your eyes,” he said.

***

Later that morning, Bruce flashed a pad of paper and a pen bearing the hospital’s name in front of Loki. “Why don’t you teach me how to write in runes? Then, I’ll finally be able to read your grocery lists.”

Loki refused to take the paper and pen and glared at Bruce disdainfully. “I know what you’re trying to do. It won’t work.”

“Loki---”

“You should know by now how single-minded I can be---”

“Loki---”

“I will not be swayed from my grief. I will---”

“LOKI!”

Loki stared at him, eyes wide with surprise.

“Did it ever occur to you that maybe I’m the one who needs the distraction?” He fought back tears. “You’re not the only one who…” He turned away to compose himself.

“Bruce,” said Loki gently. Bruce felt Loki’s fingers fucking up his hair. “Oh, Bruce…”

Bruce shrugged him off. “Loki, I love you,” he said raggedly. “Please don’t take this the wrong way. If you comfort me like that I’m going to lose it, and I can’t afford to break down right now.” He swallowed hard and flapped the pad at Loki a little desperately. “I need to learn something. Please. Runes.”

Loki gazed at him with glassy-eyed sympathy. He took the pen and paper and began to write. “Probably the best way to begin…”

***

After lunch, Melinda said Loki needed to go for a walk. Loki was not enamored of the idea. He grumbled while Melinda pulled a robe around him. “We can’t have you flashing people out in the hallway, Loki,” the nurse told him cheerfully.

Loki, hunched over in pain, gave a derisive snort. “I’d be doing them a favor. It would probably be the highlight of their sad and meager lives.”

Although Melinda said she would escort Loki, Bruce insisted on doing it. He pushed the IV while Loki held it for balance. “We’re going to the end of the hall. When we get there, we’ll look out the window and sit on the bench,” Bruce told Loki.

“You can’t make this fun. Don’t try.”

“We have to do this so your lungs don’t get congested. I know it’s unpleasant, but pneumonia is worse.”

Nevertheless, Loki shuffled painfully along, cursing most of the way. He was not impressed when they reached the window. “Houston. Meh.” He sat with difficulty on the bench and sighed against Bruce’s shoulder. “This sucks,” he said. “Everything. All of it.”

Bruce turned and kissed him softly. The usual vacuum cleaner-style enthusiasm with which Loki typically returned kisses was replaced by a frailty that reminded Bruce of a dying bird. “Oh, Loki,” he said softly, stroking his jaw.

Loki closed his eyes, leaning against the touch. “Kiss me again,” he whispered.

“When we get to the other end of the hall.”

Loki stared down the hall. “Fuck. I’m not sure a kiss will suffice. You might at least have to give me a hand job.”

After another slow, sad, shuffling trek, they made it to the opposite end. Once again, Loki was unimpressed by the view. Bruce helped him sit on the bench. Loki was quick to remind him of their bargain. Although Loki’s weakness on the previous bench had frightened Bruce, this time he found something rather pleasurable about Loki’s subdued, subtle kiss. Loki was entirely gentle. Kissing him felt like opening the petals of a rose.

“I’m sorry,” said a nurse with a grating voice. “You can’t do that here. You’ll disturb the other patients.”

“What other patients?” Loki snapped at her back. “There’s no one out here but us.”

Bruce shushed him. “We need to try to get along here. We’ll just go.” He looked up to find Melinda’s wide body standing in front of them.

She looked behind her back. “Well, go on. I can’t stand here all day.”

They kissed behind her back a few minutes more, then they returned to Loki’s room. Just that small amount of activity wore Loki out. He was asleep within fifteen minutes of climbing back in bed. Bruce watched him sleep for a while, stroking his head and neck, then left to stretch his legs.

***

When Bruce returned to the room, he found Loki awake with the bed propped up. “Where were you?” Loki greeted him.

“Taking a walk.” He pulled the two balloons floating behind him into the room. He set the mug on the bed next to Loki.

Loki stared up at him as if he had just put a couple of snakes and a very large turd on the bed. “What is this about?”

“It’s supposed to cheer you up. They didn’t really have a great selection, and the prices were absurd, so… The mug has a cute cat on it. You like cats. And inside is a stuffed chick. You can add it to your chicken collection.”

Loki blinked. “And the floating things?”

“They’re balloons.”

“And what is their purpose?”

“To float around and be shiny and fun.”

Loki’s eyes filled with tears. “Please. Please make all of it go away.”

Nonplussed, Bruce set the mug across the room. He sat next to Loki’s knees and stroked the nubby hospital blanket that covered Loki’s thigh. “I’m sorry, baby,” he said. “You usually like it when I bring you trinkets.”

“Those are mementos.” Tears began slipping out of his eyes. “I don’t want a memento of this place. I don’t want to remember it. I don’t want to remember any of this.”

Bruce squeezed Loki’s hand. “I wasn’t thinking about it that way. That makes sense.” He handed Loki some tissue. “Maybe we could give the chick and mug to Melinda?”

Loki sniffled. “What about the balloons?”

“Those won’t last.”

“But they’re in here. Drifting cheerfully about. Mocking me.”

Bruce got up and tugged one of the balloons down. “Then we’ll kill it.” He sat back on the bed and pulled the plastic fastener loose from the end. He sucked the air. With a helium-high voice he said, “I’m sorry, Loki. I didn’t realize balloons were evil. But I promise, we will make the bastards pay.”

Loki grinned wildly, then he cocked his head a little to one side. “It’s not going to stay that way, though, right?”

“No,” said Bruce, his voice already returning to normal. “So, you’ve never done this before?”

“No. They don’t have balloons in Asgard.”

“Let’s see what your voice sounds like.” He held the balloon to Loki’s lips.

“Cock!” Loki screamed. He squealed with laughter, which was immediately subdued by his stitches. “Oh, fuck! It hurts to laugh.” He held his sides and writhed silently for a moment. Then he looked up at Bruce with wild eyes. “Okay, you go again,” he said in a normal Loki voice.

“I want to fuck your teeth out,” Bruce told Loki in a high distorted voice.

Giggling, Loki grabbed the balloon away from him. “I want you to fist me up to your shoulder.”

“I want to suck you inside out.”

“I want you to wear my hole like a hat.” He cursed as he fought his laughter. When he was done he panted at Bruce. “It hurts, but it feels good.”

“We’re almost out. Do you want the last salvo?”

Loki sucked it up like a butterfly at a flower. He grinned at Bruce with glassy eyes. “I want you to know I love you. Thank you for the evil balloons.”

Bruce hugged him. After a while, in a normal voice, Loki whispered in Bruce’s ear, “Melinda is very nice, but maybe we should keep the mug and chick. Maybe I’ll want to remember a few things about all of this.”

***

The hospital’s vegetarian meals for patients consisted of things like a plate of plain mashed potatoes and creamed corn. Bruce was surprised. Loki was openly horrified. He was pleased, however, when Clint and Natasha showed up with a small arrangement of violets and some Ethiopian take out.

After they left, Bruce thought the room seemed oddly quiet. Loki was still stuffing his face with ater kik and injera. Bruce gazed out the window at the cloudy blue sky. “Bruce,” Loki said, having finished his meal. “Tell me a story.”

Bruce frowned at him. “I can’t think of any stories right now. Why don’t you watch TV?”

“I don’t want to watch TV. Tell me the story of how we got together.”

Loki looked so pale and weak. Bruce sighed. “You had been staying with me so I could show you how to control your impulses using techniques I use to control the Hulk.”

Loki grinned. “Right. Yoga, meditation, weights, tofu, and lockdown. It was queer prison.”

“You were never really locked up.”

“Not back then.”

“Somewhere along the line, I---”

“Don’t say ‘started having feelings for me’ because I know you were attracted to me almost from the moment you saw me.”

Bruce snorted in amusement. “I thought I was the one telling this story.”

“Yes,” Loki said a little sullenly. “But you’re telling it wrong.”

“Sooo… When I saw Thor taking you back to Asgard with that thing in your mouth, I thought, Fuck, why isn’t that my cock?”

“Okay, now it’s getting better.”

Bruce shook his head. “Yes, I was attracted to you before you came to stay with me, but the more we were together, the deeper my feelings became. You had so much overlooked potential, and you seemed to be trying so hard.”

“You made me want to try,” said Loki softly, the golden afternoon sunlight turning his eyes green.

“I fell completely in love with you, but I wasn’t sure how you felt. So I decided to find out. We went walking in Central Park. We stopped, and I said, ‘This song keeps playing in my head when I’m with you.’ I put buds in your ears and played ‘Simple Song’ by the Shins. I was so afraid. I thought you might not like the song, or you wouldn’t get the lyrics, or you wouldn’t understand what I meant, or you just wouldn’t feel the same way.” He smiled. “When the song first started, your gaze slid to the ground. You took on this far away look. And then, about midway through, your eyes climbed up me until you were staring directly at me with that catlike Loki intensity. And then you were all in my mouth.”

Loki purred. “I was other places, too.”

“So, after an interminable cab ride home, we finally got back to the apartment and fucked over every square inch of it. My bed became yours that night and so it has been ever since.”

“You just wanted your office back.”

“I only wanted you,” said Bruce softly.

“I need to touch you.” Loki shivered.

Bruce curled his body around him. Loki buried his face in Bruce’s shoulder and began to shake gently. Bruce rubbed his back. “We were happy before this,” he whispered. “We’ll be happy again. It will just take some time.”

***

Loki sat up when the night nurse came into the room to check his vitals. He handed her some staples. “What are these?” she asked.

He lifted his gown and showed her what was surely one of the most beautiful torsos she had ever seen in her life. “I’m healed. We’re leaving.”

She stood there with her mouth agape, then said, “You can’t leave without the doctor discharging you. You’ll have to wait til morning.”

“No,” said Loki. “I’m well, and I’m leaving now.”

Impressed by Loki’s ability to heal, Bruce passed a hand over Loki’s stomach. Loki’s eyelids fluttered.

“You really can’t leave,” said the nurse.

Loki slid out of the bed, somehow managing to look elegant in the ugly backless hospital gown. He gave her one of his dazzling smiles and said, “You are one of Earth’s luckiest women. You have been privileged to bask in my great and glorious presence. Now you will happily let me leave. And you will bring me two free puddings—chocolate, because butterscotch sucks donkey ass. Quickly now.” She giggled and scurried out of the room.

Bruce grinned. “She got Loki'd.”

***

They sat in the back of the Avengers’ black plane. A black accordion screen afforded them a modicum of privacy. Loki, sleeping, cuddled a large pillow draped over the arm facing the isle. Bruce watched the blanket of clouds out the window warp as tears filled his eyes. He fought sobs until his head threatened to split open. Finally, he pressed his forehead against the cold window pane, shaking silently.

He turned with a gasp as a hand smoothed down his arm. He struggled to compose himself. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you.”

Loki’s eyes were wells of sympathy. He drew Bruce’s head against his chest. Wrapped in the darkness of Loki’s embrace, Bruce cried until he had nothing left. He sank into Loki’s lap with a sigh. His breathing returned to normal as gentle fingers ran through his hair and massaged the back of his neck.

“I feel like we’ve been through a war together,” said Loki after a time.

Bruce gave a soft snort of agreement. “I know.”

“This is how war usually ends for me,” said Loki, a snide smile in his voice, “utterly humiliated and riding in the back of something.”

A shiver of sympathy fluttered through Bruce’s stomach. “Oh, Loki.” He kissed the navel masked by shirt.

Loki bent close to Bruce’s face. “You’re my favorite army,” he breathed and circled Bruce’s ear with his tongue.

***

Bruce had thought coming home would lay everything to rest, but Loki turned quiet and sullen. His new favorite pastime was lying on the couch and staring at the ceiling while listening to histrionic music.

Bruce hated TV, but Loki loved it, so he moved Loki’s feet and sat under them. He was pleased when Loki deigned to remove his earbuds. “Why don’t we watch something?”

Loki bristled. “I don’t feel like a documentary right now.”

"What about _Robot Chicken_?”

“No.”

" _Arrested Development_?”

“No. No comedies.”

" _House of Cards_?”

“I liked it, but I don’t think it has much replay value.”

He pulled Loki’s nearest big toe into his mouth. “Ip oop don pichk somting, I’m goin eap oop toep.” Even after he gave the toe a little swirl with his tongue, he was met with nothing but a blue-green glower. He removed the toe. “That, by the way, was an attempt at playfulness.”

“Oh? I thought it was an attempt at tediousness.” In went the earbuds.

Bruce contented himself with rubbing Loki’s feet. A small moan greeted him as he massaged the left arch. Earbuds in hand, Loki stared at him. “What are you doing?”

“I’m playing with your feet, because they’re always sweet to me no matter how vicious and rude your head is.”

“My cock and my ass are also very sweet.”

“I know, but they’re a little too close to the rude head part right now. The feet are safe.”

Loki bit his lips and turned his face away. After a long moment, he looked at Bruce. “What about _Breaking Bad_? We could start with the first season and have a marathon.”

“If that’s how you want to spend a Saturday, I’m up for it.” And then something hit him. “Loki, you do remember that has a pregnancy and a baby in it.”

“So?”

“I just thought it might--- That is, some people can be sensitive---”

Loki scoffed. “It’s a show. Don’t be such a worrier.”

***

A few hours later…

Loki sobbed inconsolably in Bruce’s arms. “I should have listened. The rest of you told me not to go, but I---”

“Loki, don’t do this to yourself.”

“I never listen to anyone. I’m still so arrogant. I don’t know how you love me.”

Bruce smoothed Loki’s hair. “You’re actually very easy to love.”

Loki was still for a moment. Then, in a small, strained voice he said, “I’ve done so many horrible things. I’m being punished. I deserved this because I’m a bad person. I’m only sorry you were caught up in it.”

Bruce pulled him up by his arms and shook him lightly. “You didn’t deserve this, and you’re not being punished. You know how I know? Stupid, horrible people have babies every day. Do you hear me? Perfectly healthy babies are born every day to terrible people who become terrible parents. There’s no rhyme or reason to it. There’s no punishment, no judgment. It’s random.” He took a deep breath, letting his anger abate. “And sometimes randomness is cruel.”

Once he was certain he was under control, he took Loki’s face between his hands. “You’re one of the few truly good people I know.” Emotion roughened his voice. “And I’m not just saying that because I love to suck your cock. I don’t even think that you’re a good person only now. I think you were good long ago, you just hit a few rough patches along the way.”

Loki sniffled, wiping away tears. “I’m fairly certain trying to take over Earth is considerably more than a ‘rough patch’.”

“Okay.” Bruce sighed. “Maybe I’m a little biased.” He held an imaginary inch between his thumb and index finger. “But only this much.”

Loki grinned and arranged Bruce’s hands to measure a Loki-cock-sized amount of air. “That much.”

Bruce shook his head. “You’re right. I’m completely dick-whipped.” And he drove his fingers deep into Loki’s sides. He tickled his trickster until they tumbled onto the floor in a giggling heap. He sighed at the impish-eyed man panting beneath him. “Fuck I love you.”

“I love you more,” Loki said sweetly, then snarled as he attacked Bruce’s unprotected armpits.

***

Bruce found Loki with Daenerys on the roof. He sat next to him. “How is Daenerys today?”

“Great. I think she’s grown some since we got her.” He stroked the fluffy chicken nestled in his lap.

“Yeah, maybe so.” He brushed a hand up Loki’s back. He could never resist touching Loki for long.

“I was reading something today,” Loki began and Bruce braced himself. Loki had no bullshit detector. He believed everything he saw in print. “I was reading something” could be followed by anything from Martians were on the grassy knoll to Hitler was really a nice man. “Many couples who experience a loss like ours end up being torn apart by it.”

Bruce’s hand froze between Loki’s shoulder blades. “I imagine that’s true.”

Loki turned his blue-green stare on him. “But I think it’s brought us closer together.” He arched his spine against Bruce’s touch like a cat. “I feel like we can overcome anything.”

“All I know is, if I have to face something,” Bruce told him softly, “there’s no one I would rather face it with than you.”

The End

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you, Soprano, for catching my typos!

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Lean On Me](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5859991) by [IceNChrome](https://archiveofourown.org/users/IceNChrome/pseuds/IceNChrome)




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